I’m a perfectionist - Five things I learned
Hi Guys!
I have perfectionistic tendencies. And that ain’t good. In this episode of coach yay-dan I talk about why that's a terrible way to live.
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I am a perfectionist... with the best of intentions, i lived life as if it was a constant test! I would approach everything with an attitude of “lets see how you do Aidan” and if I make a mistake then I would make it a habit of internalizing everything
What is it that you did wrong that you makes you wrong?
Why are you like this?
What is wrong with you?
Do you see what you have done?!?
Do you see how rotten at the core you are.
Let me tell you the inspiration for this article!
I mean I would do this to my self
all the way back to the days of elementary school
I remember, being mean to this girl in the 5th grade because me and my friends decided that she was mean or whatever and we didn't let her play dodge ball with us.
and she was sad
and the other day I stopped myself and thought
”what a mean child i was and how rotten to have made that girl feel that way. what a horrible person I am…”
WHAT? That was 27 years ago! That girl probably didn't even remember the event and besides we made up later that day and we apologized and we are friends to this day on Facebook!
I don't know what else i need to do to obsolve myself of this apparently unforgivable sin of having a mean moment as 9 year old 27 years ago during recess. I don't know about you but I review everything that happens and if I have a moment where I am not nice to someone I start thinking... there you go again... your true nature coming out!
WHAT? Then I remembered... I don't need to be perfect. It's impossible to be perfect all the time and all of this is draining my energy!! so i am working to leave perfectionism behind and here are 5 reasons why.
1) Some things are just out of your control!
Do you know you can be a world class football player and not win the superbowl?
You can be beyonce and release an album and be #2 instead of #1 on the charts?
You can study for an exam and study and study and study and your ap physics teacher could have not covered an entire subjectand you could get less than a 5.
Literally all you can do is your best! and some things are just out of your control! you can plan a wedding and it can rain
you can get a boyfriend and he can die on you... that happened to me get my book
so.. if you are trying to aim for 100% of your life
going the way you want it to go to measure as a way to see if you're good enough
I can promise you will never ever ever be good enough. Ever.
I mean jeff bezos can launch a rocket into space and people don't like him before his rocketship looked like a dick all of that is out of your control!
so.. all you can do is lean in and do your best! and let go of the result.
2) Mistakes and unwanted results are how you can continue to growSo you do your best and you make a mistake!! that is how you learn not to do that thing that doesn't get you the result you want.
Let me tell you about stand up comedynow If I do say so myself im a good comicat least I think so.I mean i laugh at my own jokes on stage i dont care I think im hilarious!hahabut I tell some real clunkers sometimesI mean... sometimes I'm like omg this is so funnyand no one eles finds it funny
but I have to try and see... that's the only way I know whether what I am doing is working or not!you can't find out that your car has a problemuntil you get it in and driveand it either tells youor you end up on the side of the roadBUT YOU GOTTA DRIVE TO FIND OUT!so let yourself get out there and driveand figure it out! Lets me tell my bad jokesI'll be sure to put some good ones in there so you don't have to sit through all of them being bad... haha
3) It slows down your progress
When you feel like you have to be perfectit's like sitting with a jigsaw puzzleand you think this piece goes there..but you don't want to try so you sit trying to figure out if that is the right placevisually... for hours..and then you get it wrong and oh my godyou are an idiot you are a dummy you are.. x y zthen your berating yourself takes up all the timeand that person made 20 wrong moves per 1 right move and completed the puzzle by the time you have stoped cryingI MEAN WHAT?
Get over it and lets get on with it! having to be perfect is so much pressure your puzzle will never get done!
4) Pass and goIn Candy crush.. if you complete the puzzle you get to move on to the next round now you know in candy crush they rank you based on how you did compared to your friends!imagine if you did not let yourself go to the next round until you were in the #1 slot among your friends.I mean... you would never move forward!You could be stuck at level 1 forever especially sincethe app doesn't tell you that your friend purchased all kinds of in app items and tools to help them cheat all kinds of scores.
Get to the next level.In high school you don't have to get straight As to go to the next level.You get at least a c average and show some level of competency and they let you go.So in life we have to allow ourselves the same grace.
You do good enough. and you move forwardYou learn additions... and you get 70% move forward learn subtraction get 70% and move forwarddivisions 70%if you wait to get 100% on additions before learning anything else pretty soonyou are gonna being a 29 year old who doesn't know how to subtract.
We have got to allow ourselves to be less than perfect so we can learn moreand BE MOREthis perfectionism thing will keep us as 40 year olds in high school let me tell ya!
5) You never get to enjoy where you are at.I was at the gym.and i don't 6 pack absbut i think Im a in pretty good shape!and as I watched myself lifting in the mirror,at orange theory fitness...
I knew that I didn't have the perfect bodybut Damn I got a pretty good oneI had a vein right here!my calves are beautiful!I have a good chest!
WHEN do I get to enjoy this body that I have built!sure its not perfect but its damn good!who's body is perfect!gisselle buncheon has to be photo shopped!Im great!
Money.. sure I could have more moneybut I have have a good deal to take care of myselfwhen do I get to stand in the knowing that I helped build this business and stop looking for lack where things are not perfect!
and if everything is perfect...doesn't that mean you are not pushing yourself to be better?and so maybe... it's perfect to be imperfect! and it's a wonderful thing to be able to enjoy the processand take note of how you are growing and learningas you make mistakesand you give yourself breaks
So this week I am renewing my commitmentto be kind to myselfenjoy more of life.and allow myself to be less than perfect!
