Thought Game: For Negative Thought Spirals
The Thought Game doesn't start out fun but it gets fun real quick, and the more you play it, the better you get.
I developed this game to help me climb out of my own negative emotional spirals. Without realizing it, you've probably already played the Thought Game yourself but hopefully this post will help you consciously climb out of your own negative spirals.
First, let's explore how and why it is so easy to fall into a negative spiral. There are two key contributors: emotional momentum and the Reticular Activating System (RAS). I offer more information on these concepts via links below.
A negative thought will trigger a negative emotion.
The negative emotion will trigger another negative thought.
And so on and so on.
This is emotional momentum. The reason a negative thought will trigger more negativity is a result of your Reticular Activating System. RAS is a filter in your brain that gathers evidence to strengthen already held beliefs. This is why positive affirmations work really well when you're already happy, excited, pumped or even in a neutral state. Your RAS is geared toward finding evidence to support a positive thought. However, when you're in a negative spiral positive affirmations often ring false. When I feel dumb or like a loser and say to myself, "I'm smart!"or "I'm a winner" it feels ridiculous. I feel dumber even more like a loser and on top of that, I feel like a liar.
This is where the Thought Game comes in. The Thought Game is essentially a mental ladder designed to support you to climb out of your negative spiral. The bottom of the ladder is where you realize you've fallen down the spiral. The first rung is a slightly more positive version of the negative thought you're telling yourself. For instance when I am really beating up on myself I think, "I am the absolute dumbest, most dreadful person in the history of all life on this planet." The only good thing about being at the very bottom of a negative spiral is you can recognize how ridiculous you're acting. Am I absolutely the worst? I can think of three people in the history of the world who were worse than me without even breaking a sweat. Shoot, all I have to do is turn on the news to find someone worse off than me.
Recognize that this is the first rung on the Thought Ladder: "I may be the worst, but I'm not the ABSOLUTE worst." This may not sound like much of an improvement but it is enough to stop the negative emotional momentum. Let's be honest, there really is no bottom of a negative spiral. So, now what? I'm on the first rung of the Thought Ladder and I have a long way to go to climb out of this spiral.
What's the next rung? "I'm actually pretty decent, sometimes?" Ha ha, no! That's five rungs up. But that's okay, I'll get there. How about, "I did a nice thing, once." Okay, I can think of a nice thing I did once. And hey, my RAS is kicking in a more positive direction and now I can undoubtedly remember a few more nice things I did. Now I've made it to, "I'm actually pretty decent sometimes." Woo hoo!
Okay, can I adjust that "sometimes" to "fairly regularly"? That seems fair, sure. How about, "regularly" without the "fairly" qualifier? Sure. "I'm a decent person on a regular basis. At least half of the time. How about "most of the time." Sure, that's one rung up. Okay, but can I say I'm a "good" person? Uhhh... I mean, what does that entail? Maybe my internal honesty isn't allowing me to go any farther on this train of thought. Maybe I can hop on a new one:
"Sometimes, I make good decisions." Okay, I can hop on that train.
"Very often, I make good decisions." Sure.
"I'm a decent person who often makes good decisions. I don't need to judge myself so harshly when I mess up."
OMG, am I out of the negative spiral, now? I think I am!
This emotional momentum is feeling pretty good, and my RAS is reminding me of times that not only was I okay, or even good, but like, darn near great. Even once or twice in my life dare I say, spectacular? Would I define it as spectacular? It felt pretty good and other people were super impressed, so, yes.
Oh, hey, "I'm a decent person who generally makes good decisions and is, on an admittedly rare occasion, spectacular."
BOOM. Not only have I climbed out of the negative spiral, but I've climbed up into a positive one.
Can you remember times in your life when you've done this naturally? I can. Before I knew anything about RAS or emotional momentum, I had done this several times throughout my life. Sadly, I can think of at least a dozen more times I fell easily into negative spirals, but that's okay.
Think about it like this: gravity pulls us in a downward direction. Our survival instincts do the same; those instincts want us to stay grounded. Flying is dangerous. Crashing hurts. We may also have had many experiences with being nudged or even pushed toward negative spirals. It's okay if falling down a negative spiral is easier than climbing up into a positive one.
We possess built-in systems to stop and then reverse the direction of these spirals. Being conscious of RAS means that we can start to utilize it to our advantage. You can deliberately reverse negative beliefs about yourself and allow your RAS and emotional momentum to carry you into better thoughts and feelings. Both are keys to empowerment, and now you have them.
If you desire more information on RAS and Emotional Momentum, check out my blog posts on these subjects.
I also offer a bunch of examples of how I used these tools to climb out of my own shame spirals in my book, The Art of Being Yay! The OMG NSFW Memoir and Guide to Authentic Joy
Aidan's Book, "The Art of Being Yay" (Kindle, Paperback, Audible):
An Awesome Part of Your Brain That Could Totally Screw You Over
How to Manage Negative Thought Spirals
