Q: Hi Aidan, I have the hardest time trying to get a girl interested in me to date. How can I make the first move without looking stupid?
A: … I have no personal experience trying to get a woman to date me and from what I understand the GAY DATING WORLD is super different from STRAIGHT DATING WORLD. I mean men are very eager to.. *ahem* men gay or straight, but women are more protective of their “goodies” which can make it more difficult for straight guys to make connections with straight women?
I enrolled the Basseri sisters to help answer the questions. Here are their top tips for picking up girls.
- Do it in person! In this digital age, everyone is online and girls all know that guys will go on Tinder and swipe right on 80 girls in hopes that they nab one! Doing it in person is going to be more effective because there are way less people doing it.
- TRY MORE TIMES! Stop caring what these women think! Initiate conversations and if they are interested they will continue the conversation. If they are NOT interested or unavailable they will probably give you a cue (such as turning away or responding with a one word answer). But the more times you take a risk the more likely you are to succeed!
- WHEN YOU ARE ASKING SOMEONE ON A DATE… APPROACH THEM WITH A TIME AND PLACE. It’s definitely safer to say something like “we should meet up sometime I’ll give you a call” or “what do you want to do”? but it’s much more effective to say “Hey. Lets go have frozen yogurt Saturday at how about I pick you up at 8PM?”
Now please note.. there is a big difference between being willing to look stupid and just being stupid. If you are approaching a girl that you want to get to know, I want you guys to start a conversation. DO NOT APPROACH HER AND SAY “DAMN GIRL YOU GOT A FINE ASS” but stick to neutral topics and see how she responds. Ask her how her day is going or comment on weather or something and see if she is open to conversation. THEN say she’s got a fine ass. NO DON’T I’m kidding. That comment should be reserved for after a few dates or if you score early or something.
They also had other advice like make eye contact, read body language, etc but the real lesson here is that you might get rejected but to get what you want you must feel the fear and do it anyways.
The reason why people rarely talk to Ariana or Elana in person is because most guys are all afraid of being rejected! I know being rejected is not fun but if you play it safe… you will get safe results. The girls have emphasized how much more it means to them to approach them in person vs just chatting them up online with a vague message like “sup?”.
Now the thing reality is you might not get the results you want by doing this. You might try to talk to this girl and she might give you the cold shoulder. She might tell you she has a boyfriend. You may be rejected. But because you really put yourself out there you will have a higher likelihood of success. The lesson here is BIG RISK = BIG REWARD.
At the end of the day… does it really matter that some girl at a bar or grocery store or at school said no to you? NAH! So try more often and fail more often! You might suck at first and you may feel silly but if you keep trying eventually you will get the results you are hoping for.
DO NOT AIM FOR SAFETY. AIM FOR AWESOME.