I recently interviewed by Digital Journal about my road to being a comedian!
I talk about all kinds of things about how technology has really changed the comedy world and how this gives more power to the people. If you are an aspiring comic or someone who would like to read about my POV on the industry please read!
But I have to say… I love that I got a chance to talk about Margaret Cho in this article because… I legit have been looking up to her since I was age 9. I was brought to the united states when I was 9 YEARS OLD and I really did not speak a LICK OF ENGLISH!! All of the adult figures had to go to work and I was left to fend for myself most nights…
I remember I took INCREDIBLE COMFORT in ALL-AMERICAN GIRL which was also in its first season the first year I was brought to the US. Being that I had dreams of a career in entertainment from a very young age… Seeing Margaret on the screen gave be incredible amounts of hope and comfort! I started following her stand up comedy and her comedy specials and fell in love with her immediately.
Jump to 2017. I am pursuing a career in Stand Up Comedy and I actually get a chance to meet this wonderful person. You know what? SHE COULD NOT BE NICER!!! She is supportive, loving and truly just a nice person… (which is not always the case with people you admire) but Seriously. She also said I was funny on a podcast she was on (mentioning me by NAME) and I just dieeeeedddddddd…..
I guess the moral of the story is… or rather… the point of the story is 1) MARGARET IS DA BOMB. 2) seeing my childhood hero act in such a wonderful way really does make me want to be a better person also. As my career grows and expands it will be my goal to be the same. So thanks Margaret Cho for your inspiration. 🙂
Q: Hi Aidan! My Family has always put pressure on me to be successful but I have no clue what I can do or what I am talented at.
I have limited academic skill and the only skills that anyone has taken note to is my shooting but I don’t like being good at a talent that was invented to initially kill people and I am certainly not competition level. Still I have no clue what else I am good at. What should I do?
A: You should NOT be looking for a thing you are good at… RATHER you should be looking for something that you would LIKE to get good at.
ItWhat are you INTERESTED IN?
I am going to tell you a story. I am naturally GOOD AT MATH. Not just cause I am asian. Throw numbers at me and I can do calculations so fast I do not need a calculator. Numbers have always come easily for me. Unfortunately, I have ZERO interest in being a mathematician, or a physicist, or a scientist, or a chemist or anything like that. There were so many people who tried to encourage me to move my career in that direction when they realized my gift for math, but I was really uninterested. Sure it boosted my ego when I would get A’s on my math tests and people would praise me for it… but had I pursued a career out of trying to impress other people or “sticking to what I am good at” I would have been MISERABLE… ME? A MATHEMATICIAN? NOOOOOOO.
What I really ENJOYED was acting and stand up comedy. The problem here was I SUCKED AT FIRST. For YEARS AND YEARS I sucked. No really. I sucked. The main issue was that English is my second language and I only started learning the language when i was 10 years old… Acting is a field in which you really need strong skills in language and comprehension and unfortunately I didn’t have that. So when I would audition for school plays, I literally could not READ THE LINES off of the page quickly enough to be believable.
BUT because I was INTERESTED and NOT TALENTED in the field I stuck to it through the tough times and now I am happy to say I get paid to do what I LOVE TO DO. You should aim for the same.
I recommend everyone listen to ted talk by Angela Duckworth. Angela is a Stanford professor who studies the science of success. She discovered that the number one indicator of those who ultimately reached the highest level of success in their given field was not IQ, financial background, talent, physical strength or beauty, but rather GRIT AND PERSEVERANCE!
If you want to be REALLY REALLY good at something, you ought to pursue something that you are REALLY REALLY interested in. No matter what you choose to pursue you WILL his obstacles (even if you are super talented). For example… A talented figure skater may win regional competitions and at some point he will have to move on to national competition where he may not place as high. This figure skater may feel discouraged by the poor result and it is at this crucial point where he will either push through and keep trying despite his perceived failure or carry on with grit and perseverance. With merely natural ability and no interest in the field the figure skater would likely give up and end up just “a pretty good skater”…
Aim to be EXCELLENT at what you LOVE TO DO. It’s okay if you suck at it at first.. your passion and interest will keep you moving toward improvement.
Q: Hi Aidan! I started seeing a guy casually over the past 2 months and things are starting to get serious! But last week we went out and he confessed to me that he had a girlfriend already but will be breaking up with her to be with me. I asked if she knows about us yet and he said NO. I really like him and would like to continue the relation but I am afraid it is a dumb idea. What should I do?
A: RED FLAGS RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE A RED FLAGS! OMG Gurl. Sooooo many problems in this scenario that you need to consider before moving forward!
- HE’S A GUY WHO IS WILLING AND CAPABLE OF LYING TO HIS “LOVED ONES”
The fact that this is the kind of man who is not only willing but CAPABLE of lying to his girlfriend for 2 months is a serious problem! If he is capable of doing that to her he is capable of doing that do you. HOW CAN YOU KNOW HE IS TELLING YOU THE TRUTH?!? How do you know he doesn’t have 7 girlfriends on the side he is not telling you about. As easily as he is lying to her he could be lying TO YOU.
- HE IS NOT A DIRECT COMMUNICATOR
He and his girlfriend are obviously having issues but from the sound of it he is not addressing the problems in the relationship head on. If he were the type of person to do so, they would have either worked out whatever issue they are struggling with or have broken up already! People like this are DANGEROUS. Because these are the type of people who do stuff like STEAL stuff from their work because the boss underpays them and so instead of finding another job or talking to their boss, they will steal and solve all their problems in indirect and dishonest ways. Remember he can do the SAME THING TO YOU!
If at any point he feels like he is being treated unfairly by you, chances are good that he could not give you an indication that he is having a problem and instead go around and take matters into his own hands. Just like he has done with his “Girlfriend”
- HE HAS ALREADY BETRAYED YOU
You say you were dating “casually” and thing are starting to get serious. Would you have started dating casually if you had known that he already had a girlfriend? I would bet the answer is NO (Although if someone is really infatuated someone they would lie to themselves and say… “well maybe” we ALL know that this is bull crap. Please.) He lied to you and HAS BEEN lying to you about his relationship status for the past two months and he got you to believe him. That should scare the living crap out of you… Because clearly this is a person who is very pursuasive and has a tendency to lie.
Those three points should be enough to scare ANYONE OFF. But my experience has been that if someone really wants to stay in a relationship, they won’t listen to relationship advice… So should you choose to continue this relationship I would recommend proceeding with EXTREME CAUTION.
He could be lying to you about ANYTHING. He was pursuasive enough to get you to think that he didn’t have a girlfriend. He could be pursuasively lying to you about how much money he makes, what he does for a living, his “friend” who is actually his ex, his std status, what he does in his free time. ANYTHING. I know this sounds paranoid but seriously I prefer people who have NOTHING TO HIDE. Who will LAY EVERYTHING ON THE TABLE. Who does not (and cannot) lie. No Games. You are playing a game girlfriend.
You can roll the die and continue to play. But remember you will be playing HIS GAME. Best of luck to you.
Q: Hi Aidan, I have the hardest time trying to get a girl interested in me to date. How can I make the first move without looking stupid?
A: … I have no personal experience trying to get a woman to date me and from what I understand the GAY DATING WORLD is super different from STRAIGHT DATING WORLD. I mean men are very eager to.. *ahem* men gay or straight, but women are more protective of their “goodies” which can make it more difficult for straight guys to make connections with straight women?
I enrolled the Basseri sisters to help answer the questions. Here are their top tips for picking up girls.
- Do it in person! In this digital age, everyone is online and girls all know that guys will go on Tinder and swipe right on 80 girls in hopes that they nab one! Doing it in person is going to be more effective because there are way less people doing it.
- TRY MORE TIMES! Stop caring what these women think! Initiate conversations and if they are interested they will continue the conversation. If they are NOT interested or unavailable they will probably give you a cue (such as turning away or responding with a one word answer). But the more times you take a risk the more likely you are to succeed!
- WHEN YOU ARE ASKING SOMEONE ON A DATE… APPROACH THEM WITH A TIME AND PLACE. It’s definitely safer to say something like “we should meet up sometime I’ll give you a call” or “what do you want to do”? but it’s much more effective to say “Hey. Lets go have frozen yogurt Saturday at how about I pick you up at 8PM?”
Now please note.. there is a big difference between being willing to look stupid and just being stupid. If you are approaching a girl that you want to get to know, I want you guys to start a conversation. DO NOT APPROACH HER AND SAY “DAMN GIRL YOU GOT A FINE ASS” but stick to neutral topics and see how she responds. Ask her how her day is going or comment on weather or something and see if she is open to conversation. THEN say she’s got a fine ass. NO DON’T I’m kidding. That comment should be reserved for after a few dates or if you score early or something.
They also had other advice like make eye contact, read body language, etc but the real lesson here is that you might get rejected but to get what you want you must feel the fear and do it anyways.
The reason why people rarely talk to Ariana or Elana in person is because most guys are all afraid of being rejected! I know being rejected is not fun but if you play it safe… you will get safe results. The girls have emphasized how much more it means to them to approach them in person vs just chatting them up online with a vague message like “sup?”.
Now the thing reality is you might not get the results you want by doing this. You might try to talk to this girl and she might give you the cold shoulder. She might tell you she has a boyfriend. You may be rejected. But because you really put yourself out there you will have a higher likelihood of success. The lesson here is BIG RISK = BIG REWARD.
At the end of the day… does it really matter that some girl at a bar or grocery store or at school said no to you? NAH! So try more often and fail more often! You might suck at first and you may feel silly but if you keep trying eventually you will get the results you are hoping for.
DO NOT AIM FOR SAFETY. AIM FOR AWESOME.
Q: Hi Aidan! My friend started dating a guy that might not be the best for her. He is a major player and also has been known to dabble in drug use! When my friend confronted him about his drug use, he promised not to do it any more but he continues to do it anyways… what should I do?
I wanted to expand on the answer in the video above. The most important step in all of this is to let your friend know that you will be there for her no matter what decision she makes about being with him. She needs to know that she will not be judged if she decides to stay with him and has to be free to make that choice BECAUSE! (and I have seen this happen a thousand times) if she chooses to stay with him and feels like you will be judging her for it, she will feel like she must make a choice between the two of you. GUESS WHO SHE IS GONNA CHOOSE?
“Bros before Hoes” and “Girl Power forever” is a nice thought but when it comes right down to it… If someone is really committed to being with their romantic partners, most of the times not only will She NOT listen to their friend who disapproves… she will go and ELIMINATE THIS PERSON FROM THE EQUATION. You will hear less and less from her until you fall out of touch. Which is exactly the opposite reaction! (80% OF THE TIME and Those are GOOD ODDS!)
So you are going to make sure that she is aware you are going to be there for her NO MATTER what she decides… once the safety is established, then you are going to lay out the facts and make your case as to why you think this person might not be the best choice. DO NOT GO ON A CHARACTER ASSASSINATION. What is the difference between the following two sentences? “He’s an asshole and He’s a loser” vs “He told you he wouldn’t use drugs and me and several of our friends saw him doing it”? The first one is a generic opinion based insult, whereas the second is providing evidence about what you saw. You are leaving emotions and opinions out of it and presenting the facts. That’s right. Your friend is Judge Judy and YOU are the plaintiff!
Once you make the case. You have to LET IT GO. Ultimately you cannot make someone change their minds about who they want to be with. It may be that your friend will decide to stay with this guy even though he is using drugs. You know what you are not going to say ? “YOU ARE AN IDIOT IF YOU STAY WITH THIS GUY” or.. “HOW CAN YOU DO THIS? HE’S AN ASSHOLE” NO NO NO NO NO NO. You are going to let her know that you will be there for her no matter what and LET HER LIVE HER LIFE. If more evidence comes up or if she asks your opinion you can talk to her more about it but ultimately she needs to know you will be there for her whether or not she stays with him.
Honestly. If this guy is as big of a jerk as you say he is… this relationship will probably not last and she will soon need a shoulder to cry on… and YOU will be there for her when she needs you.