Your Beliefs Create Your Reality
"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't...you are right." Henry Ford
On average, we are exposed to 100,000 words a day, every single day. That's so many words. If you were to actually process 100,000 words a day, you would literally go insane. So, your brain has a filtering system called the Reticular Activating System (RAS). Its purpose is to filter out information that is unnecessary, irrelevant and at odds with your current beliefs. (I'll stick to specific examples in this post, but if you want more background on RAS I provide a link below.)
Here's an example: You get a new car, let’s say a Hyundai. You start to notice all the Hyundais on the road. That's RAS at work. You’re seeing them because RAS has deemed that Hyundais are now relevant to your life. The number of Hyundais didn't suddenly go up. I mean, unless you just moved to Koreatown.
Here's another example (a silly one, just for fun): Let’s say that you believe Kim Kardashian’s behind is the absolute best behind in the whole world. As you scroll through Instagram, your brain will help you find evidence for what you believe. You will dismiss or ignore other great asses. You might say something like, "Well, hers is fake," "That one has cellulite," or "That’s not as big as Kim's." Your belief that Kim K's behind is the best will get stronger and stronger as your RAS filters out information similar to what you have already disregarded.
Seriously though, on any given topic your RAS filters evidence to reinforce the dominant belief you hold. This is why political arguments rarely change anyone's mind. When someone holds a belief and another person challenges that belief, RAS kicks in. Logic becomes secondary to defending the already held ideal.
What does RAS have to do with personal growth? Let's explore this question using a personal anecdote. For a little bit of background, I'm Asian and my chosen profession was musical theatre. The ratio of successful Asian musical theatre artists to white artists is very slim. Casting directors and producers seemed to prefer white artists, especially in regard to leading men. However, due to the changing times, companies that want to exhibit a more progressive face of musical theatre hired me for principal roles. I also got in on certain auditions that my white peers weren't invited to. I even ended up in HAIR, despite my hairless body -- how's that for diversity?
Although there were certain companies which my Asian-ness was a benefit rather than a drawback, these opportunities were few compared to those still being offered to my white peers. Because of this, I was plagued with insecurities about my ability to succeed in musical theatre. When an Asian peer reached a certain level of success, of course I was proud of and happy for him but I also worried that this decreased my chances of making it.
On the one hand, a talented Asian who gains visibility gives him the opportunity to earn the trust of audiences and producers, which can only widen the crack in the door for other Asian performers. On the other hand, one very talented Asian man can also be seen as having filled some nebulous quota, which would mean that my peer had taken the one opportunity that might have otherwise been mine.
In the end, there was no way to identify what effect, if any, my Asian peers' successes would have on my career but it felt better to choose to believe the success of any of my peers could only lead to good things not just for me but for the world in general. It equally felt better to allow the talents, and successes of my peers inspire me rather than demoralize me.
The funny thing is, I made this choice before I had ever heard of RAS. RAS describes rather than invents a way that we function as humans. But once I learned about RAS, I looked back on my insecurities as a musical theatre artist and realized that choosing to feed the belief that my peers' successes could only lead to good things supported me, as well as them. It added to my sense of optimism and well-being.
There are certain things we can't change. We all face situations in which the odds are stacked against us . Will we succeed or fail? In fact, it might indeed look like we definitely are going to fail. We can all look back on situations that we into with the best of intentions, with an elevated level of optimism and fell flat on our faces.
However, I will say that looking back at my biggest successes and my biggest failures, most of my successes were approached with a positive frame of mind. I focused on the areas that I could control. I chose to believe that I would be successful. Then again, there have been some successes that were less sweet because I worked toward them with a negative attitude. Alternately, there are certain failures that I don't regret because my heart was in the right place. My focus was on what I could control, rather than what I couldn't. Whether I succeeded or failed, I learned more and enjoyed those experiences more.
Take a look at which beliefs you hold that your RAS is helping to either affirm or be a disservice to you. I am not telling you to pretend gravity doesn’t exist. It absolutely does. But you CAN do it or CAN’T do it are both beliefs that are unknowable until you try to do it. You CHOOSE which belief to foster. I advocate that you hold beliefs that will serve your joy.
LINKS:
Thought Game: An Effective Alternative to Affirmations (BLOG)
How to Leverage Your Negative Emotions for Your Personal Benefit (BLOG)
Art of Being YAY!: The OMG NSFW Memoir and Guide to Authentic Joy (BOOK)
Science of RAS Broken Down (External link for the science minded)
