Remaining Strong in the Face of Adversity
I cannot believe what just went on at our State Capitol. Rightfully so, people are heartbroken, angry and confused. When these people broke in, they entered with force but stayed behind the red velvet rope section, weird. The violent riot most definitely will leave us with feelings of utter discouragement. If you are outraged, upset, sad, angry about yesterday, you care. But you know, and I know now is not the time to give up. We need to gather our strength. In this episode of Coach Yay-Dan, I’m going to help all of us do just that.
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I talk often with my clients about a basic principle of achievement:
Thoughts lead to Emotions, which lead to Actions, which lead to Results.
Thoughts:
"This is wrong.”
"This is not our country.”
"This is terrible.”
"Is that Mel Gibson from Brave Heart?"
These thoughts inspire our uncomfortable emotions. That dis/ease will be fueled from the actions you take.
Unfortunately...there is a fine line between: anger being the energy from which to take action for effective change and anger taking over you so that you become uncomfortable; which leads you to think things like: “NOTHING HAS CHANGED. I GIVE UP. F*** EVERYONE. I’M OUT. BRING ON THE WHISKEY.”
To fight for what's right, we need everyone’s participation. We cannot afford to check out. We need all hands on deck. Now is not the time to acquiesce to feelings of pessimism. We must fight with heart for what we know is correct. When you feel so worn down, I understand it's challenging to feel empowered to fight for change. Empowerment means that you feel a sense that your actions matter. If you feel disempowered, it means you feel your actions do not matter in the outcome.
For example:
If you have a ton of credit card debt, and you say to yourself, I can pay this off. I just need to figure out how.
This is an empowered position.
If you say to yourself, I’m sick of being poor and nothing works, screw it all. I’ll never get out of debt. Let’s go purchase that Gucci handbag because it doesn’t matter what I do. Who cares it’s all a shit show anyway. This is a disempowered position.
Like I’ve said…
Your thoughts remain the thing that contribute to your emotions.
Whether you feel empowered or disempowered will depend on the thoughts that you choose to think.
And yes, you have power over the thoughts you think.
Your emotions not so much...Your emotions are merely a response mechanism. Like a piano. Your thoughts are like the piano keys you choose to push to make sounds. The hammers and strings or whatever happens inside the piano is what produces the sound. You can’t control what goes on inside the piano. You can however choose to push keys to dictate whether the piano makes beautiful music, or sounds like, EEEHH EERRR EEHH ERR!!!!
Empowerment comes from your thoughts; thoughts you feel will make a difference.
I am here to tell you of the wonderful reasons why we SHOULD feel optimistic and hopeful about the world; how all of our contributions HAVE made a difference.
I’m just gonna make a quick list:
1) In 2008 we elected a black president something that back in the 1990s would have been unheard of. WE the people elected a black president, for two terms.
Segregation was still very significant in the 1950s. MLK Jr’s gains took place in the 1960s. May not seem like it, but still HUGE gains.
2) Today, most of the country, 67% support same sex marriage. Back in 2000 most of the country around the same, 67% were against LGBTQ marriage. Back in the late 1970s gays could be fired for, being gay. As a culture today, we now celebrate Ru Pauls Drag Race! Face it. It’s so unright to be homophobic. I think about times in 2008 when while walking down the street with my boyfriend in small town where I was doing theater people would yell out, FAG!!!! Side note: straight people, for us gays it’s a pain in the ass when you go to a gay bar and clog up the line. And us gays hit on you straight people thinking you are gay and you say, “I’m not gay, I’m an ally.” I love saying back to them, “Well…. show me how much of an ally you really are.” LOL.
back to my list…
3) This year, we elected a president who chose a running mate who is female, black and South Asian. In 1972 Shirley Chisolm was the first black woman to challenge a white man in the democrat party and the world went INSANE! A short 48 years later, Kamala Harris is on stage telling Mike Pence, “I’M SPEAKING.” That's stunning.
Moving on…
4) More people than ever in the history of our country voted!
5) We are standing up for social justice more than ever.
6) Awarenesses is high around positivity and body acceptance.
I know it seems like we have made no progress...Especially with the recent uprisings and when certain media outlets know that negative news statistically gets more viewers than positive news. So all they do is magnify the terrible things and don't feature all the great news out there. But you guys, we have made extraordinary progress. Why? Because of people like YOU. People who CARE. People who have maintained their sense of empowerment as it relates to the world and our country. WE HAVE COME A LONG WAY. Let’s not overlook our progress.
When something happens, that feels like a significant setback or a representation of how poorly we are doing or how we have gotten worse, don't get discouraged and get in a position of disempowerment. We are needed, now more than ever. So to this small sector of the population who committed this act of disgrace in our country: WE won’t grant you the power to disempower us.
We have plenty of evidence to know; we can affect change. We will do it again and again and again and again.
We will make progress whether or not they want to come along, that's their business. Because this empowerment train is moving and you can hop on or get left behind.
Love you guys. Stay strong.
